sapphic-sprite:

neurotypicalite:

neurotypicalite:

theres a pink blue and white flower at rhe grocery store i have to make. a joke

call that a transplant

[image description: there are a bunch of orchids grouped together in pots. the orchids themselves are pink, white and blue. end id.]

rude-and-still-ginger:

witcheshaven:

brujahinaskirt:

25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

Omg someone FINALLY put it into WORDS

bowserwife:

I’m a smiler. I admit it. A giggler. I’m a laughy guy. I laugh at my own jokes before I can finish them, I laugh at my friends’ jokes, and I laugh at them too much and too loud. Can’t help it! Sorry for being full of love and joy!

bunana-pancakes:

a little blue but cozy with you

alboeire:

Summer Shamir & Catherine

brigwife:

can-i-make-image-descriptions:

homoqueerjewhobbit:

felinecorpse:

homoqueerjewhobbit:

Imagine The Fellowship all sitting around the campfire halfway up Caradhras retelling the events of the Hobbit to Boromir and Aragorn Rashomon-style with Gimli going “my dad tells it this way” and Legolas going “well, my dad tells it this way” and the Hobbits all going “but Bilbo tells it this way!” and, even though Gandalf was fucking there for half of it, he refuses to weigh in on anything because watching them argue is more fun and also he doesn’t remember because it was over 75 years ago.

Even better: Gandalf remembers it perfectly fine but he keeps making shit up and agreeing to multiple different versions just to throw everyone off

Too good to hide in the tags!

[Image ID: Tumblr tag from queenInCheck reading: #gaslight gatekeep Gandalf /End ID]

We do kinda get an abridged version of this in council of Elrond in the book tho

gummybearinthehouseee:

octavian: on a scale from one to ten, how bad do you want to kill me right now?

percy: im hovering somewhere in the high thirties

coffeepeople:

sometimes I wonder how we all survive and then I look at my best friends and I go “oh, I survive because I don’t want to leave you yet” and it makes sense. life is so hard a lot of the time, but I want one more bowl of pasta with you.

lucydonato:

sdxfcgvzdxfcgvhzdxfcgvhbjnkmlcgvhbjnk science

redpandarascal:

probablyasocialecologist:

ALT

same as it ever was

transmechanic:

ALT

Quality country trans meme I found on Facebook